Hmmm ... I think I might wear Jason's mullet wig and his Carhartt overalls for the before picture and then bleach my teeth and hair for the after picture. Why are they always like that? I mean nothing says "I'm proud of my new buff body" like a spray tan, or a face makeover.
According to this site, it looks like there are scripts for your body parts to follow in each picture. Day 1's pose of your white gut hanging free and a facial expression of teenage boredom craftily morphs into a striking after picture with flexed abs, taut pecs (you were doing 10 push-ups seconds before the flash went off), and a hip-jutting stance.
The other part that concerns me is where I read this is a biggest loser-type challenge on teams (the horror). Everyone is going to look at me and groan inwardly as they think I'm some "skinny bitch." Because we all know when you're skinnier life is perfect. You never feel ugly. You have the job of your dreams. You always think you look great in the mirror. Yeah, right. People do think this though. My hair stylist asked if I have a six pack. Uh, not last time I checked. Just because I don't have cankles doesn't mean I feel comfortable in midriff baring clothes. She wondered if I walked around naked all the time. Do thinner people have some predilection for that and I'm not aware of it? Hopefully it's not a dramatic competition with a weigh-in while you're wearing spandex. That's the worst part of Biggest Loser. No one wants to wear spandex. In public. No one.
Maybe I'll just ace all the challenges and the instructors will invite me to teach! Wouldn't that be a dream come true?! There are cardio, plyometric, and strength training classes. I'm pretty excited about getting into a studio, meeting new people, trying some new exercises and seeing how my efforts will lead to a dramatic after picture. Because it's all about what's on the outside. Everyone knows that.
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