Yes, I have been exercising

Friday, April 27, 2007

The helplessness of being injured---again.

The sad truth is that I cannot run right now. The pain that began in my groin or hip flexor hasn't fully abated and, in fact, it has transversed across my anterior right thigh ending in a painful, vice-like grip above the outside of my right knee. There is pain that you can run through and ice and there is pain that annoys you while you turn over in your sleep and walk up the stairs at work. Essentially, a discomfort that does not go away. This is not "normal". With enough training and patience and adherence to good form, one should be able to train for a marathon without feeling awful on a daily basis.

Sure, I can slow down, cut back on my mileage or take longer rest periods but that only alleviates the problem---it does not solve it. At this point I have not run since my 6 miles outside on Tuesday morning. It frightens the bejeezus out of me to take time off at this point in the game but I have no other choice. I met with my team mentor and some other folks last night and they all said that if I could run 9 and 10 miles (as I did the last two Saturdays) then I would be able to finish the half marathon, even with time off. They assured me that my training combined with the excitement of race day would carry me to the finish line. I have a hard time trusting in that but they are experienced runners.

Looking ahead, I have an appointment with a doctor at the University of Michigan's Sports Medicine clinic on Monday afternoon. Hopefully they can determine if my problem is a biomechanical issue or something else. I will not be running the scheduled 11 miles this Saturday morning. Hopefully I can still get to the gym and try something in the pool. The elliptical and the bike are both out as possible alternatives. I am trying to stay positive. There is no sense in assuming that I am on a path towards the most bleak diagnosis. I have come this far and I will make it to the finish line. Perhaps at a slower pace but I'll make it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Drink water!

I clearly must have been overly confident, if I wrote in my previous post about 9 miles being a skip in the park! For Ryan Hall that could very well be true, but for little me, it was arduous. The weather on Saturday morning was, up to this point in training, absolutely gorgeous. The sky was an unwrinkled, unblemished canopy of brilliant blue. The winds were light. The promise of success was buzzing in everyone as I could tell by the huge numbers of cars in the parking lot. (Fair-weather athletes if you ask me!)

Unfortunately, I hadn't considered the correlation between higher temperatures and loss of hydration. I don't think I am a camel, but I have been able to run my distances without lots of water. Well those days of storing water as I rumble across the barren tundra are gone. My run started well enough However, with 4 miles still remaining, I downed a CarbBoom and some water (the last availability on my route) and continued on hoping for a fierce surge of energy. HA! Maybe the gel would work if my body weren't already struggling against dehydration. I felt like those tired dogs you see dragging their fat, bloated tongues against the pavement. (Hence the apt moniker, dog days of summer!) I struggled on but my earlier spritely tempo dwindled to a granny shuffle. It was disappointing. Although, it was a great and timely lesson. I only have so many long runs left on my training log and now is the time when I need to be experimenting with food, gels, water consumption, stretching and sleep to find out what combination of the elements will give me the strength that I can count on for race day.

Lesson learned: I might have to get up even earlier (groan) to more fully hydrate before my long weekend runs.

Friday, April 20, 2007

April come she will


The forecast for this weekend looks luscious. I am accepting the splendor of a clear, blue sky with alacrity. I hope the radiant sun just pours over me until I overflow with a golden hue of spring. After the ten miles of last weekend, tomorrow's nine seems like a skip in the park! Well, okay, not that easy but if I pump myself up with blithe optimism then maybe the energy in my legs will come along to match.

Could it be time to pack up the winter sweaters? Are my fleece running pants ready to retire for another season? Ah, the sweet joy of shedding layers and frolicking in the bursting blooms of spring. It's almost as if there's a hum to the earth and she's knocking at our doors beckoning for us to come out and play.

Yesterday I went to a free evaluation at the Great Lakes Institute of Manual Therapy offered by Running Fit. My hip flexor is still bothering me. It's not so debilitating that I can't run but I don't enjoy the stiffness during the day or the lack of flexibility in that leg. I had a one-on-one inspection by a physical therapist. He poked, prodded, investigated and finally concluded that some area-specific stretches would serve me best. He also suggested heat for the area (as opposed to the ice that I was using) telling me ice is usally for a sore muscle and this seems to be a ligament. It's so hard to straighten all of this out. Oh well. The weather is lovely.
Always Marry An April Girl

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.

Ogden Nash

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The surprise of kindness

When I committed to train for this half marathon with the Team in Training program, I was more apprehensive about raising the required $1,500 than I was about being able to actually run the 13 miles. Obviously, I had a right to be concerned. I signed a contract that would essentially allow TNT to make up the difference on my credit card, which I provided. I had to. It's part of the canon for how this program succeeds. Talk about lighting a fire under my bum!! I certainly didn't want to get stuck with some $500 payment simply because I hadn't worked the fund raising circuit all the way through.

My first step was to send letters to friends and relatives of my family. That gave me a comfortable starting cushion. Jason also encouraged me to send the letters to his relatives as well. I was nervous about that because I hate to seem greedy, especially to people I don't know very well. Again, I was thrilled with how they responded to my cause. It's wild for me to think that people chose to give their hard earned money to this worthy cause simply because I asked. It amazes me still. Well just yesterday I sent an email around at my work asking with help for the final $200. The outpouring of donations stunned me. I was given checks from people with whom I don't even interact. Most of them apologized for not being able to give more. I had no idea that most people would be so magnanimous in spirit. It really is a beautiful feeling to know of all the support out there. It makes me think that this year I have really done a good deed. I have made a small bit of difference for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I feel almost spiritual about everyone's charitable sense. What a wonderful world.
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On another positive note, I had quite the amusing interaction at the gym this morning during my four mile run. I have been noticing this older fella when I'm there. He's like a friendly little gnome, waving at the ladies, grinning a smile that stretches all the way to his ears and he's running all this time at a 6.0 pace on the treadmill.
Today I saddled up next to him and when I began running, he looked over with his kind eyes and nodded a polite good morning my way. I responded with a genuine smile. I was plugged into my i-pod and he was carrying on a conversation with another member on the opposite treadmill. At some point, I think we made eye contact again and I gave him a friendly cheer with the universal thumbs up sign. (This guy is clearly out pacing me!) When his conversation buddy left, he turned to me and started asking about how far I run. He told me about running the past Dexter-Ann Arbor race. He seemed to think I had a lot of gusto when he saw me running nonstop the other day (I assume this was my 6 miles on Tuesday). I curtsey'd to his kind words but said that I was the one to be impressed with his much faster pace. He simply chuckled and kept his smile stretched out. Then he took this bemusing tone like he's about to share a sweet secret and admitted that he would have usually stopped running when his friend left but since I was chugging away his machismo got the better of him and he was determined to stay on as long as I was still running.
What a hoot this little fella was! I only had about 1/4 mile left when he disclosed this bit of information and I was glad of that. I don't think I could have handled a dramatic neck and neck race with this deceptive sprinter!! When my 4 miles was up, I slowed down to a walking pace and he decided he was done. He turned to me and said Thanks for the good run. See ya around. I responded in kind. Aw, what a blissful start to the day.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The sky is the limit

I've often thought that while my 13.1 mile race will be an accomplishment of personally dramatic proportions, it will not be the singular accomplishment of this training period. On Saturday morning I was back out at Kensington for the usual chilly, extremely-early, 8am run. I ran 10 miles that morning. Okay, well, maybe it wasn't e-x-a-c-t-l-y 10 miles. I did slow down to a walk for two quick water breaks. Plus I walked maybe 1/4 of one mile when I was lagging at the 8-mile mark. So what?? I ran probably 95% of ten miles. THAT IS IMPRESSIVE! That is the farthest I have ever run in my life. That is farther than anyone in my immediate or extended family has ever run (well, maybe in the last 25 years). That is farther than all but 2 of my friends have ever run. This is no small, ordinary event.

The race isn't the only accomplishment. Waking up before 7am to run 6 miles before work is laudable as well. Running 25+ miles in a week is deserving of approbations. Staying committed to this program through four months of temperamental weather, injuries and self-doubt is a real testament to my ability to see something through to the finish. If I can do this, well, as they say, the sky's the limit. Perhaps digging deep to discover that resolve within myself is the best outcome I could hope for.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Running with a purpose

The cheetah is the world's fastest land mammal with a top speed of 70 m.p.h. There's not much guessing as to who would win if he raced a human. Speculation quickly turned to fact and I mean quickly, like less than 10 seconds, when a race was held in Africa recently.

Bryan Habana, a 23-year old South African rugby player, who can run the 100 meter dash in 11 seconds, raced against the cheetah in a well-supervised event to raise awareness about the declining population of cheetahs. What a marvelous publicity stunt for a worthy cause. Hardly a century ago, their numbers ranged in the 100,000s. That number has drastically declined with estimates of 8-10,000 in the wild now. Without intervention through the aids of education and funding, the swift, quadruped will soon be one more sad addition to the world's endangered species list.

There are millions of stories like this. And when I say like this, I am referring to situations where there is a need for money to stop something terrible from happening. I am running for one such cause. I am running for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It's easy to become accustomed to the tools and medicines of the 21st century and then to forget that people still die everyday from diseases that have no cures. I run to raise funds to fight this particular blood cancer. I run to raise awareness. I know I am doing something positive when I see the money coming in. I am so grateful for the large donations that I have been blessed to receive. I am even more thankful for the $25 donations that come from young people like myself who live paycheck to paycheck. It's really hard to decide how to spend the "extra" $25 we might have in a random week. It's tough to part with our money when we have student loans, credit card debt, unpaid car notes. I know this. I am really touched when people give to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society because I asked. That's really special. This is what I will think about tomorrow morning when I set out for the first ten mile run in my life. I will think that I can make a difference. That one individual does matter. That the pain I feel in my lungs or my hamstrings is nothing compared to the pain that some people have to live with every day.

(I have less than $300 left to raise. Please help me reach that goal by clicking on this link and donating.)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The power of motivation

I caught a great article at thefinalsprint.com about the infamous Kathrine Switzer, the first woman to officially run the Boston Marathon. The article talked about her promoting her book Marathon Woman at this year's Boston Marathon expo. From there I went to runnersworld.com where I read a 7pg excerpt from Switzer's book. Her detailed retelling of that remarkable day gave me chills.
It started to snow again. We were all deep in thought, and my thoughts were moving all over the place. I said quietly to Arnie, "You know that guy Jock has gone up ahead and is probably arranging for one of those big Irish cops to arrest us when nobody is looking. If it happens, I am resisting arrest, okay? And something else." I turned to Arnie and looked him in the eye. "Arnie, I'm not sure where you stand in this now. But no matter what, I have to finish this race. Even if you can't, I have to--even on my hands and knees. If I don't finish, people will say women can't do it, and they will say I was just doing this for the publicity or something. So you need to do whatever you want to do, but I'm finishing."
What stunning fortitude. What courage! What a powerful story that we can all draw from in our dark moments of indecision, solicitude, fear. I feel happy with the four miles I cranked out before work this morning. This article leaves me wanting to run farther. It's not just this article either. Today I've read about a single mother of two, a below-the-knee amputee, who can run a half marathon faster than I can. I've read about the indefatigable Team Hoyt, the father who runs an 8:30 mile while pushing his son in a 27lb wheelchair.

There are so many places from which to draw inspiration. I think of my sister Martinique when Dancin' with Myself blasts into my ears 35 minutes into a six-mile run. I think of my dad and his postcards with the ever amusing "Run Forest Run". I think of my unstoppable friend Jenny churning out training runs that trump my 13 mile race goal. I run for all these people because they think I can do it. There are days I don't think I can trudge around another bend but they believe I am capable. And sometimes what other people think is what really matters.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Full speed ahead

What a lovely feeling when accomplishments follow more accomplishments. As if the vivacious joy of churning out six unexpected miles on Saturday wasn't enough success, I did it again on Tuesday morning. Before work. Jason jokes that I am an animal and I love that. I love the image of something primal, ready to pounce, overflowing with unbridled zest. That is the proper way to Rise and Shine.

Today is Wednesday and I am skipping my three mile run in favor of a Bikram yoga class. I'm vigilant about my leg and not overdoing it my first week back in the groove. Yoga is just another name for personal massage. And after last night's clinic on sports massage, it's important to keep in mind the tonic properties of nurturing your body.

Running with family

This past Saturday was the day I had been waiting for. I was psyching myself up to run four miles outside. Sure, it wasn't my usual Saturday long run but I was creeping slowly into fully recovered mode. I was visiting my parents, with Martinique in from Chicago, and thought I'd muster the courage for an outdoors run. It was wickedly cold that morning. My amazing, and always much too generous, parents suggested that all 4 of us go to the gym instead. What sweet relief!

So, there we were. Martinique, my mom and I, lined up and ready to go. It's really a special feeling to be a part of a family that feels the same way about healthy living. Through some unexpected surge of energy, I cranked out 6 miles and it was a glorious feeling! My cheeks were ruddy with accomplishment and my heart was like a resilient drummer who would never quit. I feared that my long days of resting would set me back. I guess not. My team mentor suggested that the rest could actually be beneficial but I didn't believe it until I proved it! My spirits soared.

I took those sanguine feelings with me on the Easter drive back and carried them with me on my three-mile jaunt the next afternoon. The air was chilly but refreshing. I had time to reflect on the weekend with my family and dwell in the knowledge that what we share is so wonderful. We see the worst in each other. We react swiftly and headlong. We are the topics of each other's long phone conversations and lengthy emails. Yet, somehow beyond all of that, we see in each other something dazzling and beautiful. We yearn to nurture each other's vast untapped potential for fulfillment. We love one another for who we are. Whether we are just setting out for that first mile or rounding the curve in the home stretch, they will be the ones pumping their fists in the air when we burst through the finish line.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Hope is a red balloon

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

I ran this morning as if a giant red bobbing balloon were tied to my wrist---a balloon that signified hope. My imaginary balloon floated over my head, weaving and bouncing in a joyous swell of accomplishment as I ran for the first time in about 9 days. My body was buoyant and relaxed. I was prepared for this day and my legs seemed to glide along effortlessly and smoothly, like my body was as weightless as a bright red balloon. It was a sunny moment.

I thought of the movie Murderball on the treadmill today. I thought of all those men and women who have become paralyzed and will never know the feeling of running again. I thought of how desperately they would try for the slightest string of hope. When I think of those who cannot walk it truly does make me thankful to run and to run consistently, often and with satisfaction.

I am thrilled to be back in action, to be a body in motion. As Newton stated: A body in motion will tend to stay in motion. And, I believe, a body in motion tied to a bright red bobbing balloon of hope will glide along in a fluid motion towards successes of all varieties.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The band plays on

Our bodies are beautiful instruments. Lately mine has been a guitar playing a slow, wistful tune in a country band. The occasional twangs in my groin or hip flexor remind me of a radio station that I cannot change. The plucking of the guitar swells in my legs and I am in a dream at the start of a finish line for a race I cannot run. I feel trapped. While my guitar twangs away, my spirit is growing restless. Afterall, this is the only body I will ever have. I believe it's my duty as one who is blessed with the working instrument to learn how to play it harmoniously. I aim to be in tune with my natural environment, the rhythms of my heart, the pulse of my pumping blood. I am thankful to be able bodied and I want to show my thanks by literally jumping, whooping, jiving, sprinting, shivering, swelling up the crescendo of a hill while my breath burns in short, jagged gasps in my lungs.

Instead I am stuck in a repetitive chorus of slight limps and ice packs. It will be over soon. I know. I can already hear the sweet hum of a well-oiled machine revving all its joints. I see the musical notes on a page and they are starting to flicker more brightly with every day that passes. I step off the elliptical machine in the mornings and am overjoyed to feel the "shy"-ness in my groin abating.

The melancholy country band inside me is shifting its tune. The twangy guitar will be replaced with the snappy, finger-picking style of a bluegrass banjo. I will wave my fingers at the sky. I will hop out of bed in earnest. Tomorrow I am going to run on the treadmill.

For my few but lovely readers, may you find some time to exercise as well and delight in the songs your body sings. Play on...

Monday, April 2, 2007

and, again, still healing

I went to the gym on Saturday for a couple circuits with the upper body weights. I concentrated on stretching and my abs. I also rode the bike for 30 minutes. I never feel quite comfortable or positioned correctly on those stationary bikes. I don't know what it is. They also seem so boring. I'm not even sure if it was a wise move with my groin twangy, it didn't seem to hurt.

On Sunday Jason and I walked 6 miles of trails out at Island Lake State Park. My leg actually never bothered me. If anything, that muscle felt "shy" as they often do when you're afraid of over doing it. I started to get confident that I'd be running right away.

Alas, not so.

I parked my car in front of my building today and by the time I walked in, there was that muscle twangy AGAIN!!!! It's so irritating. More rest and more ice.

Tonight there is a clinic at the Running Fit store. The topic is "Everything You Need To Know To Finish Your Race". Should be informative!!!! This better give me lots of vital stuff to work with since I skipped the opening day festivities :(